Bottles and Cans and Just Clap Your Hands

I want to break down. My party was supposedly awesome and everyone was there but I don't even care. I don't remember much. The parts I remember were stressful and horrible and, shit I don't even know- just bad.

Blake and KC left after like 10 minutes- I don't know what that was about. Thanks for the support guys. Blake was just an ass, not at ALL helping my nerves about the party. I felt like I was going fucking insane and no one helped. I feel like I'm always there to support everyone for the tiniest little thing, but no one cares when I'm the one distressed. I talked to Alex and he calmed me down. Molly found me, and god bless her- she is my angel. I honestly don't know what I'd do without her. Blake. I try to take his criticisms with a laugh, because I know he isn't REALLY serious, but it builds up and it hurts. It fucking hurts when it adds to the hysteria in my mind. Yesterday I hated everyone. I got trashed and forgot for awhile. But now it's back and I want to fall into crying spasms again. it's hard to even walk down the hall without crying.

Dave slept in Jess' bed. BAD MOVE mister.

Ray is a horrible person. I realized this morning that we can't be friends. I refuse to be friends, even fake friends, with someone who so carelessly throws around my friendship. NO PERSON, even jokingly, calls their friend and leaves a message saying, "I heard your dorm is on fire. I hope you burn to death. Bye." Go to hell. I will do our lab report on my own, I will ski alone, I will find someone else to play racquetball with. I would rather do anything alone than with him.

Speaking of our dorm burning down...






Apparently it did. I found out this morning. Hah. What a great night.