Noise Parade '06

I just realized I never posted pictures of the noise parade here. I have my own on Facebook (link to the right) but I found some infinitely awesome ones that Pellolio had stolen from someone else on LJ, a forum which I refrain from partaking in its activities. So, here they are, the twice stolen noise parade pictures. Brace yourself.

It's Like...

ebola, malaria and AIDS thrown into a vat and mixed together until smooth and bubbling.

Like getting chased by a million bees simultaneously stinging you, then tripping over a snake that bites you as you break your leg and fall into a wet cow pie.

Yeah, that's what it's like without Alex.

Fuhgeddaboutit

Fuck my feelings. I don't know what I'm talking about. I have no reason to complain and every reason to rejoice.

Since getting back to Portland, I've been caught between polars, half of the time being chronically tearful and the other half relieved and ecstatic to finally be with my Reed friends and away from the psycho parents. As wonderful as it is to be here, I can't help but miss all that I left in LA. And even when I'm trying to be excited about Portland, I'm continually being brought down. I feel like there are very few people who enjoy, or even notice my presence. And surprisingly, these people aren't who I expected them to be. People change, I know, but I never thought it would be this drastic. The ones who I always took comfort in haven't been radiating the safe zone vibe- I feel like I can't talk to anyone. I don't even know how to act around them. I feel like my world is superficial, no one acting how they want to or saying what they really mean. The hugs seem rehearsed. I'm not writing this for pity, not at all. Maybe awareness. Maybe to get it out of my system. I don't know. But I feel pretty shitty and I have been feeling pretty shitty. Naive as I was, I thought going to Portland would erase all my problems and make me happy again. Now, without even Alex, I feel like nothing. The only thing that's been keeping me going is thinking of photographing for the Quest. I finally took some initiative, forcing myself to be ambitious Aline, and I wrote to the guy who runs the Quest. Apparently he'd love to have me photograph for them. I'm sure it helps that my photos were chosen for the front page of the Renn Fayre picture edition last year. Anyway, I'm uber pumped about this and I can't wait for the meeting Tuesday. Something to look forward to, thank god.

Something weird:
For some reason, I've taken to reciting what I'm going to write in my blog in my head before I write it. If I can't sleep in the middle of the night, I start thinking about what I'll blog about. My thoughts come out in blog form. Ironically, I almost NEVER actually write what I tell myself to write because I forget by the time I'm sitting down and writing. But it's so damn good when I think about it- I wish I just wrote it down when it popped in my head. For example, I had so many ideas what to write about my EuroTrip. Now, I'm not even sure there will be a EuroTrip blog. But one of my headings was "Firenze: not just a sandwich". No one told me that Firenze just means Florence in Italian, and I've been ignorantly eating Bon Apetit firenze sandwiches with no idea. Maybe it's not that clever, but it seemed so at the time of conception.

That's all for now.

Es Chiste

What's the difference between a midget and a giant?




Mainly the size.

It's been awhile

Of course, I had a good reason. And I'm planning on going back and writing blogs for the days I missed. That's all I can say for now, as it's 5:00am for me even though it's 8pm in LA and I haven't slept in years, so I need to catch up on some beauty sleep. Just letting you know, you have much to look forward to...

I've noticed

I write the longest blogs when I know there's something more important to do, like pack for vacation and school. I should really get to that. I'm going to start soon, really I will.

Holy Frijoles!

Today has been the first day of the summer that I've done absolutely nothing. I woke up, read the book "blink" by Malcolm Gladwell, slept some more, ate some bread, slept, and then took a shower around noon because I smelt like smelt. Maybe not like smelt.

Now that I'm groomed, I have Spice Girls blasting and I feel like I can finally rewind and catch you up on all that's been going on with Cathi here (not anymore, sadly) and work and my Eurotrip. I'll make it confusing and go backwards.

KC called me today so I could speak to everyone except Tedros and Molly. Tedros left, Molly didn't want to talk to me. Or she was driving. Everyone else is Dave, Blake and Josh. Dave sounded properly chipper though somewhat uninterested, Blake was confused as always, and Josh was polite yet jokingly defensive. I can't wait to see them in person. I feel like everyone else has kind of forgotten about me. Only a couple reedies even wished me a happy birthday. Because of that, I feel a little apprehensive about going back- I guess a little suspicious of my so-called friends. Of course, I'm not ready to drop anyone because of a little thing like that but I do feel a little neglected and I do NOT like it mister.

Yesterday, Saturday, we had big plans which didn't quite happen. Molly, Alex, Birte, Roya and much more (maybe) were going to go to the screening of the original Psycho at the Hollywood Forever Cemetery but it just didn't happen. I ended up sleeping instead. Sleep is wonderful. Especially with a warm mexican at your side.

That morning, Cathi left. Her godparents took her away forever. So sad. Luckily, they keep inviting me to visit any of their houses in Austria. I'm definitely taking advantage of that. AND I need to see my new friend again. She really fit in like one of the family. I was surprised that it worked out so well, but mucho relieved. She was practically in love with Molly. Every ten minutes, she would tell me how funny Molly was. I felt like any second, she'd ask me if she could stay with Molly instead. She loved Alex too and told us we were "sweet" together all the time. Then again, anyone would be impressed by a boy like mine. To top it off, she was hilarious. We had such an awesome time together. When she didn't understand something right away, I'd explain it and then she would cover herself by saying "Oh, we don't have that in Austria." The first time she said it, I couldn't tell she was joking. It's hard to tell with the accent and all. My favorite was when she told me they don't have dogs in Austria. I was laughing for about ten minutes straight. So even though she's gone now, we have some great memories. When she left, her eyes were teary and I could tell she was about to cry. My mom was crying too.

Friday was our last night with Cathi and we ended it with The Ruby. The whole time she was here, she was obsessed with going clubbing. She asked me practically every night if we could go. Finally, Friday night, we decided to go. She listens to techno like Molly, which is probably another reason they bonded so well. I'm not much of a techno fan myself. So Friday day, my last day of work, I looked up techno clubs that we could get in to. Keep in mind that she's 17. There is no club in LA that is worth going to that lets in anyone under 18. Luckily, she has a fake ID. Not a very good one, but a fake ID nonetheless. With it, she's 19. So I found a 18+ club that supposedly plays techno music along with other rooms with other music as well. I liked it because it had all kinds of dance music- 80's, hip hop, techno, etc. It's about a block from Hollywood/Vine and El Capitan. I had to pull teeth to convince Molly to come but I'm so glad she did. So it was Molly, Cathi, Alex and me. Alex brought the alcohol and was nice enough to stay sober. We went to a park infested with spiders by Molly's old house. This park will always feel safe to me because I've gotten away with so much there. I got high there for the first time with generous friends, a ginormous bong and some amazing chronic. Anyway, we poured cups of rum and filled them up with coke. If you've ever had a mixed drink made by Aline, you know how strong it is. Basically, 50-60% alcohol. But we ran into some problems. First, our cups started leaking like crazy. I ran to the car to get an extra cup. That worked for me but not Molly. Cathi's wasn't so bad but Molly's was pouring out of the bottom. Who would ever predict that cups won't hold liquid? There were some used styrofoam cups on the table and I told her to put one under her cup and let it collect the extra. Somehow, she ended up accidentally drinking out of the styrofoam cup and had to wash her mouth out from the germs. Very amusing for everyone but her.



We drove, found parking after at least half an hour of looking, and met up with Roya and arrived fashionably late. I was just thinking about it and "arrived" would sound better if it were "arrove". So we arrove and went in. Cathi had no problem getting in- who would turn away her Austrianness? She told the ID checker that she was from Austria and he practically melted. I was afraid that my club choice would end up being lame, but going in I was very pleasantly surprised. Obviously, I'm not a very regular clubber. But I would totally do this again. I had such a great time and this club was nice. We weren't even drunk. The most I can say is that I was slightly buzzed. We danced and danced and got beautifully sweaty. Our favorite place to stay was right in front of a huge fan. I liked the main room with the 80's music. It turned out there wasn't really any techno. I wasn't TOO bummed out about that. I had so much fun dancing and I took lots of pictures which you can find in my facebook album.

That means here

Speaking of facebook albums, I originally wanted to restrict myself to one summer album, but I've realized that I just take way too many damn pictures. So far I have four, but I'll probably end up with five because of the Switzerland/Italy trip.

Anyway, I went clubbing. Before that, the closest I came to going to a dance club was the Whisky a go-go, Roxy and all those random places we always used to go to see bands play. Like Top Fuel in Hollywood. That place was a mess. I think that was the first (and only?) time I've seen people shoot up in an alley. Definitely not dance clubs.

Thursday we hung out at the Beverly Hills Country Club. I didn't get in the pool or actually do anything. I guess I'm boring these days. After that, we went to dinner at Lilly's in Venice with Cathi and her godmother and family. Delicious French cafe and the food was great. We saw Emy Colidago at the bar. She's the girl who plays Piama on Malcolm in the Middle (Francis' wife). She's much prettier in person than on the show. There aren't many pictures of her online but here she is:



Wednesday, as you know (or should know), was my birthday. Despite having to work, it was still a good day. I went home for lunch and had caprese, fresh fruit and pasta ready for me. After I finished, my massage was ready for me in the other room. My mom apparently does this semi-frequently where she has a little asian lady come, massage bed and all, to our house to give full-body massages. It was so relaxing that I almost fell asleep. I should do that more often.

I got the most beautiful iPod known to man, a black 60 GB color video iPod. It is perfection. I can't figure out how to put videos on it yet, but that will work itself out soon enough. I love scrolling through my pictures while listening to music and it's just so damn beautiful! This one will not be broken. No one lays their hands on my iPod from now on. Except, you know, if you're REALLY careful.

Alex told me to meet him at his house, so I did. We went to the Grove and the park by his house and just hung out. I complained about how unspecial my birthday was. Ava was a bitch to me all day and didn't even wish me a happy birthday and then all we were doing was walking around. I wanted to have fun, I wanted to do something different than every other night, I wanted to see PEOPLE. My dad called to let me know that there was chinese chicken salad waiting for me at home, so we headed back.

*Side Note: This computer keeps making sporadic buzzing noises. I wonder why/where it's coming from/is it going to explode?

We got home and I had kind of a strange feeling. Nothing conscious, nothing I could explain, but something felt different in a very subtle way. And that something is what prompted me to go in the front entrance of the house, a way that I haven't come in all summer. The side door is just easier. But for some reason, I walked in the front door. No one was in the living room. Weird. I walked through to the kitchen to walk outside and to my room, and I saw figures ducking from outside the window. All I could think was "what the hell is that?!?" Suddenly everyone rushed in from the back and caught me from surprise. I couldn't believe that they had actually planned that without me knowing. I knew the parents had an ice cream cake for me when I got home because Ava slipped it to me, but I had NO IDEA about this. I was elated. Literally, ever since I learned the concept of surprise parties, I had wanted one thrown for me. And finally, my dream was fulfilled and I was simply ecstatic. Dinner/dessert was great and I was more than satisfied. It was good to see some old friends along with the ones I see all the time.

Later, the fun was kind of spoiled and I just wanted everyone to go home. People don't take hints very well. I had a great time and it was time to end. By trying to prolong the fun, I was just annoyed and got into an argument with my mom because of it. I didn't need alcohol/pot and I felt pressured to make it happen even though I didn't even know about the party or could have planned ahead. Bottom line, if they wanted to get fucked up they should have planned it before. I was tired and felt like no one cared about what I wanted to do- they just wanted to get drunk or stoned. The rest of the night was filled with tension and wasn't fun for me. Next time I'll politely say that I had fun but it's time to end and let everyone leave. Finally, everyone left and I went to sleep. In retrospect, it was still awesome and I'm forever in debt.


I'm jumping back to the beginning. Hope you can follow. Today we heard Switzerland is currently rainy and muggy and gross. We planned on boating/swimming in the Ara River, but right now all the water in it is melted ice which is very, very cold. And I say that from experience. So Switzerland's weather sucks right now. This isn't typical for summer weather. Blah. My parents are having a party so that we don't have to visit all our Swiss friends and it's now being moved to my uncle's shop instead of outside our chalet because no one wants to stand outside in the rain.

This post has gotten really fucking long so I think I should just post it. More to come, lovers.

Yeah, it was a good birthday

Dear Aline,

Tonight I was hurt when you "told me" your friends were sleeping
over. You did not ask. It was like telling me that all my plans for
you were not enough to make you happy and that you needed more. It
didn't matter to you if it would create more work for me. You did
not think twice about causing me extra considerations.

Although I was hurt, I did not object. I didn't quite understand
where everyone was going to sleep and I was concerned. When I asked
you why you had your jacket on, you said, "I'm taking Alex home to
get his retainer and toothbrush" You did not say "we". I thought it
would be very rude of you to leave your friends and did not want to
say that in front of them.. Maybe they wouldn't notice if I didn't
point that out. I just was trying to get you think about it and said
I did not think that was a good idea.

I would not have minded if you all went to Alex's house to get his
stuff. The most important thing was for all of you to be together.
The fact that Molly and Bertie left without you was not a good
solution either. You simply did not understand what my concerns
were. Alex should have gone a night without his retainer and
borrowed a toothbrush/clothes, etc.... or all of you could have gone
to his house.

Initially I was hurt by what seemed to be a lack of appreciation for
all your birthday plans, and now I am angry at your reaction to me.

Just had to get it off my chest. See you tomorrow.
Love,
Mom

Some lessons learned

Apparently to the Dodgers, VIP seats are basically the worst ones in the stadium. That was a shocker. Here's Cathi at Dodger Stadium, so you can see how wonderful our seats were.



While asking the ticket lady if they really were our seats, I stepped on the mexican's hands in front of me. Despite apologizing profusely, I know I'll never be forgiven and he now hates the entire caucasian race if he didn't already. Great job Aline.

I learned another very important lesson at the beach a few days ago. Never, and I mean NEVER, go in the water and swim out before checking the waves. Cathi and I were wondering why there weren't many people at the beach, but we quickly ignored the obvious signs of danger and jumped right in. Just as we get deep enough to barely touch the ground, we see a 40-foot wave rising over us. We panic and scream "shiiit" but there was nothing we could do. I tried to swim under the wave, but it pulled me up and thrashed me around. I didn't know which way was up, so I tried to let the wave calm down while holding my breath as long as my little lungs would allow. Finally, I felt the ground and kicked up with all my might. Choking and spitting up water, I surface and look for Cathi. As soon as I see that she's alright, another wave- the same size- crashes over me. Same story. Hell. I'm never making that mistake again.



On another note, TODAY IS MY BIRTHDAY!!!!! YAY!!!!!

Send me some love.

While I'm on the theme of lessons learned, though, I have another one. Malka is God. And I love my nutria beaver. I'll be calling him nutty. And while I'm terrified to get close to the damn thing, I can't help but love a giant rat with webbed feet.

Did you know...

-that the plural of Lego is Lego?

-my birthday is in two days?

-Spiderman is real? (I have proof)


-the Dodgers are going to WIN tonight with Cathi and me cheering in the VIP section?

-I am sunburnt to a crisp?

-I wish I was going to a certain Bar Mitzvah?

-Alex is getting a Mini Cooper?

-I'm bored at work?

I got home last night and realized that my shirt was on backwards. I can't wait to see the pictures. Instead of looking just normally retarded, I'll look super retarded.

Alex "accidentally" elbowed me in the eye today. Okay, it really was an accident. But it HURT.

Well, it's late so I'm gonna post some pictures that no one wants to see but will be forced to by blogstalking me. That's what you get, unwanted pictures! Hah! Actually I took these in my extreme boredom babysitting tonight. And now I'm home, still bored...hence the posting...

How My Family is Fucked Up: a story for the children

My dad is literally a psychopath, my sister is a psycho bitch and my mom is, well, okay most of the time.

I've been selling Hale vitamins for quite awhile now. When I started, I needed a group of people to start with so I went to my mom's address book and picked out anyone who I knew or sounded familiar. I asked the same thing of my dad- to just let me talk to some people he knew. He said he wanted to talk to them first, which is totally fine if you do it right. I wasn't asking him to sell for me, just to ask if anyone would mind speaking to me. Of course he does exactly the opposite, telling people how stupid vitamins are. So instead of getting me some business, he's actually taking away business that I could have had if he just kept his goddamn trap shut. And the best part is that he doesn't even realize it. In his own fantasy world, he thinks he's helping. He's mad that I'm not thanking him.

At least I can accept that he's an ignorant dumbass and be thankful that I live so far away for most of the year. Ava, on the other hand, doesn't do so well. There are rarely ever times when there isn't some kind of fight or tension between them. He expects too much from her, she flips out, he flips out, she does something crazy, he tries to punish her, she refuses to be punished, everyone goes crazy. Last week she didn't want to stay for my dad's office party so she rode to her friend's house and then the Getty Center even after she was told she couldn't. And because she did that all her priviledges are taken away. This means that the rest of the family has to take on the burden of making sure she doesn't do anything fun, or else he'll be mad at us as well. And trust me, he has enough reason to be mad at us already. Honestly though, I really don't give a fuck if she's on the computer. And when she is, he yells at me as if I'm doing something wrong.

More about Ava. A couple days ago, my mom was folding laundry in her room. She asked Ava to help her for just five minutes. Of course, Ava says no. My mom asks her again, politely, but Ava still declines. Ava asks what's in it for her- why should she do laundry? They get in a fight, mom chases Ava into her room and as Ava stands in between the door and her full-length sliding closet door (which is basically a really big mirror), my mom pushes the door in. Ava falls back into the mirror door, and the entire thing cracks. No one was hurt but it was pretty intense seeing the whole mirror shattered. At least I took some cool pictures.






There's much more on just my dad and me, but it's too infuriating to write about. Let's just say he's an asshole.

Chad and Aline go to the Pier

We know how to party...

First weekend with Austria (not Australia)

So, I'm successfully distracted from longing for Portland and, once again, happy with Los Angeles. Our Austrian girl is awesome and, thankfully, speaks english very well so it's not hard to communicate. Friday we met and went to dinner with Fragola, Ulrika and Bird. (I think I might have mentioned that already, but oh well). Anyway, it was fun and BJ's was super greasy and fatty just how we all like our food. The spinach-artichoke dip and pizookie (spell?) were heavenly, as always. Dinner gave Cathi a nice look at the difference in portion size in Europe and America. I've promised her at least an extra 10 pounds by the time she leaves. She keeps commenting on how many asians we have- it's kind of funny. I mean, yeah it's true but I never really notice. So on Saturday we got ready for my dad's office party at our house and then stayed awhile before going to the Santa Monica pier and the promenade. We walked around, watched some dancing Hari Krishnas, which you must see...

Watch some crazies getting their dance on at the promenade, but more noticably- a half-naked bum joining in on the action.


That night we went to Habibi for some hookah and a $10 per person minimum, which sucked but at least we got to smoke some tasty death.

Sunday we all "slept in" (9:00?). I think I've forgotten what it means to sleep in. I want to sleep all day and wake up for some TV at 4:00 then dinner before I go back to sleep again, like I used to spend my summers. Good times. So after we woke up, we hung out for awhile and then got ready for Rodeo Drive, which everyone knows is a tourist Must. We visited Marilyn's grave and took pictures. We all looked a bit too happy to be thinking about her death.



We picked up Alejandro, went home and almost immediately left for the Swiss Fair. Yeah, you heard me. The awesomest people in the world congregating for bratwurst and raclette and spatzli and wonderfully off-key music.

See the professional Swiss harmonica players in the back?


On the way home, we stopped at the other essential tourist spot, the Hollywood sign. For some reason, Ava was wearing a helmet. That night, we went bowling and I WON. Boo-yah. The creepy guy who gives you your shoes hit on Cathi and gave her his number because she wouldn't give him hers. Isn't it a pretty good sign that a girl isn't interested when she refuses to give you any way of reaching her and shows no interest while you're staring down her shirt? C'mon guys, really. After that, the night was still semi-young, so we headed over to Westwood to see The Devil Wears Prada, which was different from what I imagined it to be but good nevertheless. Then we were all pooped, so we went home and slept. Living is so tiring.

Cathi

See Ava climbing on illegal grounds?

Alex had a turn with the helmet

PDX, I miss you

I just saw my last post and was traumatized all over again.

Anyway, I had a quasi-breakdown, or maybe just a realization last night. I know it's taken me a lot longer than most other Reedies (and I blame Alex), but I haven't been dying sans Reed. I think I'm actually having a pretty good summer and at least I'm making money, even if I can't keep any of it. Then yesterday it dawned on me how much better Portland life is. No blistering heat, the coolest people in the world, no traffic, cheaper gas, the freedom to come home whenever the hell I want to and smoke/drink all day. I miss my Reedies and I miss my school. I tried to call some people and no one answered and I felt even lonelier than before. If you're reading this, CALL ME!!! You know who you are.

*Side note- Technically I'm at work right now and the phone just rang so I began in my professional, slightly suggestive adult voice, but then for some reason I said "Yeah" in a Southern accent. Maybe it wasn't even southern, just bad. What is wrong with me?

Anyway, the Austrian girl comes today. I'll take her to dinner with Molly, Fragola and Birte, and I hope it goes well. I really hope she knows enough English to actually talk.

I noticed a typo on our website, so of course I told my boss. Now I have to write it up and make a new folder for website corrections and fix it and everything. Sometimes I should just keep my mouth shut and avoid creating more work for myself.

ATTACK OF THE...fly?

I can't believe this motherfucker. I tried to kill it with my mirror. It escapes the first three times that I slam the mirror on my desk (it was the only thing handy), mostly because the mirror is just too bulky to swing at a fly fast enough. So the damn thing decides to fly straight at my face and hit me in the eyeball. As I'm disgusted and bewildered, it flies down my shirt and starts knocking around between my breasts. At this point I'm practically hysterical because it hit me in the EYE and and is STILL caught down my shirt. It wouldn't get out of my shirt- it just kept flying back and forth, bouncing off each boob! Finally I had to scoop it out because the asshole wouldn't get its filthy body away from me (I wasn't gonna kill it down my shirt, though I easily could have).

Pervert.

Lance? Gay?

(I didn't photoshop that by the way; it was stolen from http://www.perezhilton.com)

No one, and I mean NO ONE, saw that coming. I mean, Lance Bass being gay was a real shocker. We don't see many men as masculine as him coming out these days. And, being in N*SYNC, the manliest boy band out there, it just doesn't fit.


Honestly, though, did anyone REALLY believe this guy was straight?

Catherina

Cathi, not Christina. (our Austrian girl)

Here's what she looks like. I think she's the one on the right.



And she gets here Friday afternoon!

Billie Jean

This song is HORRIBLE. And Michael Jackson is an asshole.

It's funny, because I was in my car this morning listening to the Michael Jackson tape that my sister just found (yes my ghetto car only plays tapes)and Billie Jean came on. Of course, it's a song that everyone loves, that everyone loves to dance to. I was instantly brought back to memories of prom, with Alex in the middle of the dance floor and everyone watching him. He went crazy, practically breakdancing (but really rolling around on the floor). Everyone loved his moves and the intense energy he emanated. We all wanted to be with him then, to be a part of that ardent passion.

AND THEN, when I got to work and looked up the lyrics that I can't fully understand from the song, I was shocked and appalled. Mainly because I had no idea he was such a jerk. I mean, yeah, we all know he's a pedophile rapist (not a person who rapes pedophiles, but a pedophile as well as a rapist)- but I didn't know he was like this. Don't you despise guys who get a girl pregnant then deny it? Well I do. Poor girl, that Billie Jean. Someone go send her some child support. And I wish I could say that I'm not boycotting Michael Jackson and his music, but it's just so catchy.

In case you are uninformed as I was, here are the lyrics to Billie Jean:


She was more like a beauty queen from a movie scene
I said don't mind, but what do you mean I am the one
Who will dance on the floor in the round
She said I am the one, who will dance on the floor in the round

She told me her name was Billie Jean, as she caused a scene
Then every head turned with eyes that dreamed of being the one
Who will dance on the floor in the round

People always told me be careful of what you do
And don't go around breaking young girls' hearts
And mother always told me be careful of who you love
And be careful of what you do 'cause the lie becomes the truth

Billie Jean is not my lover
She's just a girl who claims that I am the one
But the kid is not my son
She says I am the one, but the kid is not my son

For forty days and for forty nights
The law was on her side
But who can stand when she's in demand
Her schemes and plans
'Cause we danced on the floor in the round
So take my strong advice, just remember to always think twice
(Do think twice)

She told my baby we'd danced till three, then she looked at me
Then showed a photo my baby cried his eyes were like mine (oh, no!)
'Cause we danced on the floor in the round, baby

People always told me be careful of what you do
And don't go around breaking young girls' hearts
She came and stood right by me
Then the smell of sweet perfume
This happened much too soon
She called me to her room

Billie Jean is not my lover
She's just a girl who claims that I am the one
But the kid is not my son