Walking on Water

Right now the LAST thing I should be doing is blogging. But, like KC warned me, it's addicting. Right now I have so much to do that I don't know where to start. It's completely overwhelming. And so far this morning, I've gotten almost nothing done. I don't know what's wrong with me. I woke up literally in fear of all that I have to do. I'm afraid to make a list now of all that I have to learn in the time up until my finals on Tuesday. I was afraid to get up because I knew that once I did, I'd have to get to work- and the sheer amount of SHIT that I have waiting for me is terrifying. I just want to deny it, to continue looking at iTunes TV series and music videos (which I just discovered today and am thoroughly amazed) or go onto myspace and facebook. And, of course, do exactly what I'm doing now. It's easier for me to push it aside because if I think about it, I'll fucking break down. I can't believe how much I don't know and how horribly I'm going to do on my finals. I'm going to fail everything. And I still have to write my Hum paper. I think I'll turn it in late tonight. I don't care if it's a day late. I don't want all this pressure. I just want to talk to Alex and let all my worries disappear. I need an escape. I decided to work tonight instead of going to the Winter Formal. It's not like I have someone to go with anyway. (Alex come back!) I'll pretend this is high school and it's not cool to go to any school functions. Even though this is Reed and everything is cool here.

Speaking of cool...the lake/pond/canyon/gross body of water started freezing over today. I think Ray and I were the only ones AMAZED by this. We threw sticks at the ice and watched it crack. FUN SHIT!!! I don't know what's so cool about ice, or lakes freezing over- it's probably because neither of us get any of that at home. There were birds walking on the frozen ice, which we called Jesus birds. I want to try to walk on water and be Jesus. To inspire me, I'm listening to the Violent Femmes' "Jesus Walking on Water". Too bad I weigh 5,000 pounds and would crack through that ice like an anvil.