sheer genius

right here

Creo en Dios

Things I've found interesting while studying:


El asesino se pone pálido. Tiene miedo. Sale de la casa y corre a lo largo del río. -501 Spanish Verbs

And what a long time it's been since you've celebrated Aphrodite's holy mysteries. -Lysistrata

Virginity, virginity, where have you gone and left me? -Sappho

Like a Thracian or Phrygian drawing beer out of a straw, she sucked away, head forward, working hard...his prick, like that of a he-ass from Priene well-fed with grain, spilled over... -Archilochus

She has nothing beautiful or charming about her, nothing delightful or lovely. She is mad for bed and lovemaking, but any man who lies with her she sickens with disgust. -Semonides

There is no outrage in drinking as much as you can hold and still make your way home without an attendant, unless you are very old indeed. Praise that man of men who when he has drunk brings worthy things to light. -Xenophanes

Murder. The house breathes with murder- bloody shambles!...I know that odour. I smell the open grave. -Cassandra in Agamemnon

Schedule

I need to make a rigid structured schedule for the next two days before my Humanities and Spanish finals.

SUNDAY:
7-8 wake up, shower
8-10 spanish workbook and flashcards (starting from ch. 10 going backwards)
11-12 spanish lab (recent chapters)
12-12:30 lunch
12:30-2 herodotus
2-4 thucydides
4-4:50 finish reading ch's 9 and 10 of aristotle (speed read!)
4:50-6 spanish tutor in library
6-7 dinner
7-9 socrates/plato/aristotle
9-9:30 break?
9:30-11 spanish again
11-? sleep/talk to alex

MONDAY
7-8 wake up, shower
8-11 review humanities, go over passages that might be on ID's. look up past tests, read stuff on the humanities website, use resources that you're usually too lazy to take advantage of!
11-12 spanish workbook or lab
12-12:30 lunch
12:30-3 more humanities
3-6 spanish spanish spanish!!!
6-7 dinner
7-12 whatever is needed most, do that. you'll know at the time.
12 sleep so you can wake up bright and early for the 8:00 Hum final!

TUESDAY
8-12 Hum final
1-4 Spanish final
night........celebrate the end of finals (though not the end of tests)........get SHITFACED


*do NOT think about Alex. do NOT get distracted!!!

Not quite a Jesus bird

While looking for a picture of other Jesus birds, I found this unfortunate duck which is much more worthy of being on a blog. Apparently this duck wasn't so lucky; it couldn't walk on water like the others. Poor soul.

Walking on Water

Right now the LAST thing I should be doing is blogging. But, like KC warned me, it's addicting. Right now I have so much to do that I don't know where to start. It's completely overwhelming. And so far this morning, I've gotten almost nothing done. I don't know what's wrong with me. I woke up literally in fear of all that I have to do. I'm afraid to make a list now of all that I have to learn in the time up until my finals on Tuesday. I was afraid to get up because I knew that once I did, I'd have to get to work- and the sheer amount of SHIT that I have waiting for me is terrifying. I just want to deny it, to continue looking at iTunes TV series and music videos (which I just discovered today and am thoroughly amazed) or go onto myspace and facebook. And, of course, do exactly what I'm doing now. It's easier for me to push it aside because if I think about it, I'll fucking break down. I can't believe how much I don't know and how horribly I'm going to do on my finals. I'm going to fail everything. And I still have to write my Hum paper. I think I'll turn it in late tonight. I don't care if it's a day late. I don't want all this pressure. I just want to talk to Alex and let all my worries disappear. I need an escape. I decided to work tonight instead of going to the Winter Formal. It's not like I have someone to go with anyway. (Alex come back!) I'll pretend this is high school and it's not cool to go to any school functions. Even though this is Reed and everything is cool here.

Speaking of cool...the lake/pond/canyon/gross body of water started freezing over today. I think Ray and I were the only ones AMAZED by this. We threw sticks at the ice and watched it crack. FUN SHIT!!! I don't know what's so cool about ice, or lakes freezing over- it's probably because neither of us get any of that at home. There were birds walking on the frozen ice, which we called Jesus birds. I want to try to walk on water and be Jesus. To inspire me, I'm listening to the Violent Femmes' "Jesus Walking on Water". Too bad I weigh 5,000 pounds and would crack through that ice like an anvil.

The pain of living in dorms

I can't believe I haven't written about this earlier.

OKAY.

Just let me prepare myself for the story I am about to tell. If you are not already sitting down, you may want to take a seat. Brace yourself.


My story begins yesterday evening, about 11 pm. I was walking through Mcgriffley with KC, Blake and Tedros. We were on our way to a party at the Birchwoods. It was a little late to not be drunk, and we wanted to change that. KC is walking in the front, I'm walking almost directly beside Tedros, and Blake is following close behind. Deep into whatever conversation we were having, I turn to Tedros to tell him something.

Just as I turn to the left, my world comes to a complete and utter end. I am stopped mid-step and prevented from walking any further. I can't see. My vision finally comes back and I start to feel it. The entire right side of my face screams as I realize what an idiot I am. My head throbbing, I regain my balance and try to laugh it off as it hurts like hell.

Basically I walked into a door.

No, not the wide flat part of a door but the open edge. That fucking three inches that stick out into the hallway and don't give way when you ram your body into them. Or just your head.

So I ran into a door. Fuck you. I bet you've done worse. After the fact, we realized it was quite funny. The best part was that I was 110% completely SOBER. And I knocked my head fucking hardcore against that door. We couldn't stop laughing, even as the pain penetrated my body. Maybe you had to have been there, but it was incredibly fucking funny. Halfway to the Birchwoods, Tedros is still cracking up. He had the perfect view of my face collapsing; he was in that perfect alignment where he saw the contact, he saw the reaction, and then died of laughter. KC had a pretty good view too. She just looks back and sees me collapse. Oh god. At least something happened last night, since the rest of it was a failure. Well there's my story.



ps- Is it sad that I STILL read Alex's blog about his visit to come see me a month ago? I can't help it, I love reading it... http://alexcantsee.blogspot.com/2005/11/4-days-of-heaven.html

Everything Reminds Me of [Him]

-anyone playing guitar
-interesting shirts
-Disneyland commercials
-my rose sheet that made our sex tent
-MBV and Elliott Smith
-burritos
-bumping my head on the ceiling
-my lotion
-his blue shirt
-spanish class
-even things that I know remind him of me, like my favorite purse from Target or Lucky perfume or Bed Head hair cum

Reason is Powerless in the Expression of Love

However, reason does get me somewhere on the subject of religion. God has never been there for me. I refuse to believe in a God who is ever-powerful and almighty, yet watches a world of chaos and corruption with his all-seeing eyes and does nothing to intervene. I am simply unable to accept this. I continue to maintain that I accept the faith of others and am not trying to convert them in any way. One quote that I think someone with an alternate viewpoint may understand is this:

“I contend that we are both atheists. I just believe in one fewer god than you do. When you understand why you dismiss all the other possible gods, you will understand why I dismiss yours.” [Stephen F Roberts]

I think it's a pretty powerful statement that forces the believer to question why he believes exactly what he believes. Maybe it's just me.

I wasn't always this opposed to my Catholic upbringing. For awhile I took comfort in creating my own version of God so that I could appease my objections toward the hypocrisy of religion and still have faith. I believed in a God who basically created the earth and universe, and then left it there. I believed that he was an asshole, that he sits around all day and watches us, but does nothing to intervene in our affairs. Maybe not that he necessarily couldn't, but that he didn't. He put us here and said "Have fun, guys. Go fuck up this divine world I've created for you." And we gave Him just what he wanted.

A very useful website on the philosophy of religion which, contrary to most sites, is not geared toward conversion to any religion is http://www.philosophyofreligion.info/

I think I've put much more thought into religion than most who blindly believe what they are taught. I give much more respect to those who question their religion and decide if it is fitting. The more you deliberate, the more you discover about yourself and the more you learn to be an independent thinker. I've always questioned things, from the existence of the Easter Bunny to the existence of God. It just so happens that I came to the same conclusion with both of them.

I usually stay away from talking about my beliefs, as they are incredibly controversial and I try not to stir up trouble. Once I get started, though, it's hard to shut me up as I have so much enthusiasm for my beliefs. I should create a new religion, the Church of Aline. Damn, it would be hottt.





There are a few arguments used to prove the existence of God, none of which satisfy my questions and doubts. I've summarized them, but a more comprehensive account can be found at http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Atheism


Pascal’s Wager- It is in our best interest to believe in God regarding afterlife. If we believe in God, then if he exists we go to heaven and if he doesn't then it doesn't hurt or help us. If we don't believe in God, then if he exists we go to hell and if he doesn't then it doesn't hurt or help us. So...either believe and possibly go to heaven, or don't believe and possibly go to heaven. I have a few problems with this argument. First of all, in the catholic religion, it does not simply require faith for entry into heaven. Getting into heaven is a bitch, and I probably wouldn't end up there anyway. If I was religious, I would most likely end up in hell anyway.

The Ontological Argument- This argument attempts to prove that God exists through abstract reasoning. This one is much more complicated, and I strongly disagree with it on many levels so I may not explain it very well. Basically, we can not speak of something that exists. To speak of God is in itself proof of His existence. I don't see the rational aspect of this argument, as I can dream up many things that do not exist, yet I have no trouble thinking and even speaking of them. I don't believe that, as this argument states, to say that God does not exist is to contradict oneself.


The Cosmological Argument- There are two types of these, modal (dealing with possibility) and temporal (time). The modal argument asks why the universe exists if it has no purpose. The temporal argument asks when the universe began to exist, as everything must have a beginning. This beginning must have had a cause (as nothing comes from nothing) and therefore must have been brought into existence by something outside of it. This tries to prove the doctrine of Creation. I've heard many other theories about the universe, most summarized to me through my dad (because I could not even begin to understand the quantum physics of the ordeal if I read it in its actual context), so the information is passed down to me in simplified form through a person who is most surely more capable of understanding than I. I don't believe that this gives me any less credibility, especially when I line myself up with those who listen to their priests and pastors without doubt. Time is not finite. How are we to know when something begins and ends? The problem I have with many of these arguments regarding the universe is that we assume that, as humans, we have a certain amount of knowledge about the world that we can't be sure of.

The Teleological Argument- This just says that the universe is just really big and really fucking complex, and that there must be a purpose for this. The only way that all the variables could have turned out right for a universe of life is with something controlling it- it could not simply happen by chance. On the other hand, I like to think of all the other planets that were not as lucky as our wonderful earth, all those that do NOT support life. I say- our biological conditions were fitting. We have the right amount of chemicals in the air, the right amount of water and sunlight, and hey, we got pretty damn lucky. Why is the idea of chance and evolution so incomprehensible? Maybe we really did evolve from apes...

The Moral Argument- There are two types, formal and perfectionist. The first- morality consists of an ultimately authoritative set of commands; where can these commands have come from but a commander that has ultimate authority? The perfectionist moral argument sets up a problem: how can it be that morality requires perfection of us, then morality cannot require of us more than we can give, but that we cannot be perfect? The only way to resolve this paradox, the argument suggests, is to posit the existence of God. I just don't agree. That's all I can say.

The Argument from Religious Experience- This just says that personal religious experiences can prove God’s existence to those that have them. One can only perceive that which exists, and so God must exist because there are those that have experienced him. While religious experiences themselves can only constitute direct evidence of God’s existence for those fortunate enough to have them, the fact that there are many people who testify to having had such experiences constitutes indirect evidence of God’s existence even to those who have not had such experiences themselves. I'll believe it when I get my own religious experience. Or when I'm alone in a desert for months without food and barely any water and I start hallucinating. Yeah, then.


*This is my disclaimer. I hope that my interpretations of these arguments are sufficient. Please feel free to add anything if you feel the need, as I do not claim to be an expert in this field and I understand the weight that this subject places on many people. If you are afraid of blasphemic statements, close your eyes now and walk away from the computer. if you're intrigued by this rebellion, read on...



AND NOW...ARGUMENTS FOR ATHEISM...

This I have copied directly from the aforementioned website on the philosophy of Religion, a website that neither attempts to promote nor denounce Atheism. It simply tells it as it is. So listen up.

The Presumption of Atheism- Atheists often suggest that theirs is the default position, that there is a presumption of atheism. This places the burden of proof on the theist; if the theist is unable to make a persuasive case for the existence of God, then the atheist is justified in his atheism. The case for the presumption of atheism may be made in two ways, one resulting in a presumption of weak atheism, and the other in a presumption of strong atheism.

The Problem of Evil- The problem of evil is the problem of reconciling the existence of an omniscient, omnipotent and benevolent God with the existence of a world full of evil and suffering. If God is omniscient then he knows how to bring it about that there is neither evil nor suffering. If God is omnipotent then he is able to bring it about that there is neither evil nor suffering. If God is benevolent then he wants to bring it about that there is neither evil nor suffering. But if God knows how to, is able to and wants to bring it about that there is neither evil nor suffering, then why does he not do so? The simplest answer is that God does not do so because he does not exist. This is by far the most popular argument for atheism.

Problems With Divine Omnipotence- The doctrine of divine omnipotence is the doctrine that God is all-powerful. It is sometimes argued, however, that the concept of omnipotence is paradoxical, logically incoherent, and so that it is logically impossible that there be any being that is omnipotent. This position, if it can be sustained, precludes the existence of God.

Problems with Divine Omniscience- The doctrine of divine omniscience is the doctrine that God is all-knowing. The doctrine of divine omniscience, though, faces several philosophical objections; there are a number of arguments in the philosophy of religion that purport to demonstrate that God cannot possibly know everything. These include arguments that the doctrine of divine omniscience is logically incoherent, that it is inconsistent with the further Christian doctrine of divine impeccability (i.e. the doctrine that God cannot sin), and that it is refuted by the fact of human freedom. If any of these arguments is successful, then there can be no omniscient God.

Problems with Divine Justice- The doctrine of divine justice is also subject to criticism. First of all, it appears to conflict with the idea that God is forgiving. A just God sees that each person gets what he or she deserves; a forgiving God sees that some people’s sins go unpunished. Second, the Christian view of heaven and hell appear in many ways to be unjust. Hell, for instance, appears to inflict an infinitely great punishment upon those who are sent there. How, though, can any finite sin deserve infinite punishment? Just punishments and rewards are proportionate to the badness or goodness of the person that deserves them. Heaven and hell though, are all or nothing. They therefore cannot be just.

Problems with Immortality- Even if we can make sense of the justice of heaven and hell, there remains a further problem: immortality. Death, by definition, involves the destruction of a person; if a person is not destroyed by death then they did not die. Once destroyed, though, it is unclear whether a person can be recreated. It is possible, no doubt, for there to be a subsequent person, like to them in every respect, but there is no reason to think that that will be the very same person that died, rather than merely a replica of them.

Petitionary Prayer- A further doctrinal problem with Christianity concerns petitionary prayer, prayer in which we request that God do something for us. God’s omniscience implies that he will already have taken all of the information about our needs and desires into account when deciding what to do. His benevolence implies that he will act in our best interests unless there is a good reason not to (and if there is such a reason, our prayers will not remove it). Prayer, then, should never change God’s mind; petitionary prayer shouldn’t ever work.

The Argument from Autonomy- The argument from autonomy is the argument that the existence of morally autonomous agents is inconsistent with the existence of God, and so that the fact that morally autonomous agents do exist disproves the existence of God. God, if he exists, is worthy of worship. If a being is truly worthy of worship, though, then he is entitled to our unconditional obedience. Moral agents, however, cannot be required to give unconditional obedience to any agent. Moral agency requires autonomy, and so the idea of a moral duty to give up one's autonomy is incoherent; in giving up one's autonomy one would cease to be a moral agent so would cease to have moral duties at all. We cannot, therefore, have a duty of unconditional obedience to any agent, and there therefore cannot be any agent that worthy of worship. There can therefore be no God.

Religion and Memetics- A final critique of religion comes from the field of memetics, and the suggestion that there is a God meme. Memetics seeks to apply the theory of evolution not to biological organisms but to ideas. Ideas, like animals, replicate themselves and compete for survival. The same process of natural selection that ensures that only the fittest animals survive will therefore also ensure that only the fittest ideas survive. Fitness of ideas, though, need not be a guide to truth; fitness is simply the ability to survive and reproduce. If the memetic critique of religion is right, then the success of religion can be fully explained by its preference of faith to reason, and its emphasis on evangelism.





I'm not going to share my reasons for not believing in God. I find some of the last arguments for atheism plausible, and some not. If you are interested in my beliefs, come to me and we'll have a nice little talk. Possibly even an amazing, life-altering talk! Wouldn't THAT be great!!!! Well, that's all for now. Peace.

Albino Sword Swallower

I'm putting this up so I don't have to look at my last post. Look, it's an albino sword swallower...

Por Que?

Why do you make me cry for you baby?

I know you hear me calling. Pick up the phone. Next time I'm gonna leave you a message. Next time.

Or do I really want you to hear my misery over the phone and give you the choice to respond to it? I don't know. All I know is that I need you, and that I need to talk to you.

I just want to say I'm sorry. I want to tell you on the phone but you leave me no other option than to tell you here. I'm sorry for not being understanding, for twisting your words, for accusing you of different intentions. I'll admit that you insulted me, that you hurt me, but I shouldn't have put you in the position that I forced you, and I shouldn't have pressured you to tell me what I wanted to hear. I want you to be honest. There's a lot that I want to write right now that I can't, this being public and all, but I want to tell you. My heart breaks more every second that I don't speak to you. I'm sorry.

I already know I won't be getting any sleep tonight.



Well, I'm going to redo my nails again for you.

uhhh...

i don't think anyone got that the mona lisa was holding a joint and wine bottle...


OR you just don't care


both of which are depressing conclusions. i think i'll go hang myself now.

Art is much less important than life, but what a poor life without it.

Some of my favorite works:






















and...last, but certainly not least...

Baby, it's Cold Outside

Actually...I wouldn't know. I've been inside in bed for longer than I can remember. Okay, a couple days- but time moves slower when you're sick. You watch the clock and it just doesn't move. The hours take forever to pass, and you want them to speed up so that you'll feel better. I've finally gotten up today to write here because all the time in bed has given me a lot to think about, things that I don't normally reserve time for. I've been thinking about home mostly, Ulrika and Alex, but also of the wonderful people I have here. Wonderful people who take care of me by bringing me tea and medicine and ordering me to get better. I wish I could combine just the best parts of LA and Portland and create my own Utopia. Who said it isn't possible?!?!

As for some of the things I've been thinking of...

Alex never fails to astonish me with his intellect. No one gave him enough credit back in the day, and i didn't know him well enough to put him into any category. (Besides the obvious...nerd...) They assumed, by his laziness, that he was somehow below those taking AP's and busting their asses in school. But it's not true that work ethic has this kind of link to intelligence. And who the fuck cares about high school anyway.

I'm basically writing this to show everyone that Alex has a great mind, that he can deliberate with the best of them. I love being able to talk with him about politics and religion, psychology and our personal beliefs on everything from from Plato's idiocy to gay marriage.

He calls me his muse, says that I inspire him, but i know he always had this inside him. Maybe he simply didn't have anyone to talk to, or had no one who he could openly argue with without feeling self conscious.

Yesterday we spoke about God.

I haven't believed in a supreme being in awhile, though I know it would mean DEATH to tell my family. I've accepted their faith, but I know they could never accept my beliefs. I respect those with different beliefs than I hold, and it was the same when it came to Alex's faith.

But last night he called me with a newfound enthusiasm. I answer the phone and the first words he says are "I don't believe in God". I get a little excited that he seems to be converted and he continues. I have many reasons for my beliefs, most of them well thought-out, and he was suddenly convinced by a persuasive argument that I can't help agreeing with. Of course there are exceptions, and I've found ways around it (as the church does as well), but in the end I feel that this argument is the stronger.

Based on the Roman Catholic assumption that God is all-powerful, omnipotent and perfect, it is contradictory for this perfect God to create imperfect beings and then punish them for their imperfections. Why would a benevolent God create disease, natural disasters, trauma and death? For entertainment? It just doesn't make sense for God to blame humans for their sins, the sins which only he controls.

For the rest, look at Alex's Blog because he actually explains it in detail. It's easier for me to just give a little snapshot of our conversation. It's hard to lose faith in something you've believed your entire life. It's quite a transition. I'm honestly not even sure if he's ready to make that transition. I guess the first step is having doubts, which he indeed has.


And I have more to say but I've got to lie down. My apologies.

"My Only Friend"

I GOT AN XBOX 360 AND I LOVE IT!!!!!!!



"Premium Edition", includes a hard drive (needed to play original Xbox games), wireless controller, headset, ethernet cable, Xbox Live silver subscription, and a component HD AV cable.




Just kidding. Alex you're a n-e-r-d.

itunes quiz

Open iTunes/iPod or Windows Media Player to answer the following. Go to your library. Answer, no matter how embarrasing it is.

How many songs? 5221

Sort by song title:

First Song: ¡Paranoia! Cha-Cha-Cha by the Soviettes
Last Song: Zombie (Part Two) by Nile Rogers And Roy Hargrove and Money Mark

Shortest Song: Welcome by Offspring
Longest Song: Harmful if Swallowed- Dane Cook

Sort by album:

First Album: ...And Out Come the Wolves by Rancid
Last Album: Zero by Smashing Pumpkins

Top Five Most Played Songs:

1. Greatest Hits by Sublime
2. Don't Speak by No Doubt
3. Homebrew by 311
4. I saw Red by No Doubt and Sublime
5. Basketcase by Green Day

First song that comes up on Shuffle:

Decent Days and Nights by The Futureheads

How many songs come up when you search for "sex"?

78


How many songs come up when you search for "death"?

47

How many songs come up when you search for "love"?

237

How many songs come up when you search for "you"?

455

who can deny it?

"yes aline, the light of my life, the center of my universe, the stars aligned when you entered my world"
-Malka Molly Schumer


"would YOU turn down time with aline?!
i didn't think so."
-KC "alcoholic" Deane

FUCK

I've decided that I've been crying too much lately. And rather than cry about THIS and continuing the pattern, I have a few FUCK YOUs to hand out.

BEING SICK- I'm not gonna deal with it, I'm just gonna numb the pain by self-medicating. And an extra FUCK YOU to carpal tunnel.
RAIN- It's wet. And cold.
FRIENDS WHO DON'T CARE- Please, just let me know if you have ever or will ever give a fuck about me. Let me know if I'm wasting time, energy and sanity on a hopeless cause.
DISTANCE BETWEEN LOS ANGELES AND PORTLAND- enough said.
LIGHTS THAT GO OUT WHEN YOU DON'T WANT THEM TO- Someone please fix my desk lamp. Or tell me where I can buy a new bulb cheaply.
BATTERY- Why has apple not yet invented a battery with an unlimited life that charges itself??? Why has Steve jobs not yet found someone to rip this off of? i really don't like when my ipod dies right in the middle of Beck's Derelict. Get on it!!!
FINALS- I'm scared shitless. Why can't I just sleep through the next two weeks and pretend they don't matter?


I feel much better

Carpal Tunnel Syndrome

Carpal tunnel syndrome is a medical condition in which the median nerve is compressed at the wrist causing symptoms like tingling, pain, coldness, and sometimes weakness in parts of the hand. It is the best known of a class of disorders called repetitive strain injuries.


So my mom probably has carpal tunnel syndrome. I just found out today when she called me to ask what I want for Christmas. I told her that all I wanted was a new digital camera (since my old one was STOLEN) and I insisted that I couldn't live without one. She said "Aline, we can't just make money appear" and I told her that all I wanted was some money to build up to one eventually. I continued to complain, only thinking about myself and my "need" for a camera. Then she told me the news. She sees a neurologist in a couple days to confirm it. I feel so selfish for caring so much about a stupid camera when she has a REAL problem. Who the fuck am I to ask for anything? All I want for Christmas is...not my two front teeth, but for everyone to be safe and healthy.

A tear rolled down my cheek as I thought about what this would mean. As a dental hygienist, she uses her hands almost exclusively to work. With carpal tunnel syndrome, she wouldn't be able to work at all. I thought about how much she enjoys working, how she told me it was one of the few places that she could find peace. Concentrating on others' teeth, she could avoid the little problems at home and be really great at something without being insulted by my dad. I love my dad, but he doesn't give her credit for all that she does. At work, she's a hero- people request to see her, they love her, and she's always given the gratitude that she deserves.

She was planning on going back to medical school. I doubt that will be happening anytime soon.

I think of all the times we've gotten in fights and I wished horrible things on her. But she doesn't deserve this, she's such a good person. I'm so sorry. I love you mom.

A Moment of Reflection

I guess a pretty important part of going through life is figuring out who your true friends are. I have some incredibly amazing friends, many of whom I've met only this year and a couple who I've known since way back in the days of Paul Revere and Pali. I know I don't take enough time to tell them how much I love them.

I really love you.

When I need them, I know they'll always be there- and vice versa. I'd do anything for them.


So here is my alinescent lyrical ode narrative thingie dedicated to the best of the best, the greatest friends I could ask for...it won't be poetic, it won't be overly dramatic, just from the heart. I want to express how I feel and here's the only way I know how.



When I'm on the verge of breaking down, you're the ones who slap me and tell me to get it together.
You save me from making colossal mistakes that only you realize I will regret.
You knock sense into me when I'm acting like an idiot.
You make me laugh when it's most needed. We spend the greatest times together just laughing until it hurts. No, not simply until it hurts. Beyond that point. Until it is so painful that we can't breathe, and we collapse on the floor in fits of hilarity.
You distract me when I need to avoid school. Thank god for helping me with procrastination.
You help me figure out problems with other friends. You put the two and two together when I can't.
You take on my burdens and listen to me stress about my problems, from my overdue homework to deteriorating friendships with others.
You push me when I don't want to be pushed, and lead me in the right direction. You know what's better for me when I don't.
You stand by me when I need support. When I feel like the entire world is against me, I know you're there.
You tease me and make fun of me.
You help me act decisively. We all know I can't make up my mind for shit. Coffee or tea? I'll never decide.
You always take my side, even when I'm blatantly wrong. (Then again...am I ever wrong? No...)
You give me hope that everything will turn out alright. When I want to give up, you tell me to keep trying.

You know who you are.

Holiday Spirit

"i love christmas. who doesn't love christmas?"

"uh...maybe the jews..."

"oh. right. forgot about that."

"it's okay. you don't believe in god"




I don't advocate playing christmas music right when November hits, but as soon as it's December, you better believe that I've got out my holiday spirit. There's nothing more peaceful or cheerful than some christmas music when you're stressing out about other things. So I downloaded 50 Christmas songs yesterday. oh yes.