The Lovely Mr. Mena...

...is taking a shit right now. And that gives me time to blog. He better not check this because we promised not to look at each other's blogs until after he leaves Sunday. I'm wearing a really hot, green dress that he bought me for St. Paddy's Day and I love it. It's a little low-cut for my conservative wardrobe, but I guess I can make an exception for Alex. I think I hear him coming...I'll add more later...

Enumclaw, here we come

Bus: leaves from Reed at 4:54 this afternoon
Train: leaves from downtown Portland at 6:15

Then, a weekend of FUN FUN FUN with my absolute favorite Reedies and looking forward to Alex coming!!! Now I must pack and go!!!

Oh Jesus, it SNOWED.

I never thought it would happen here. But yes, it snowed and it was divine. GOD appeared from the heavens and spoke to me. He said, Aline, this is a gift that I present to you for your awesomeness. I give you this snow, these big fluffy fat snowflakes that mold into perfect snowballs; I give this all to you because you deserve it. You deserve to frolic in the newly fallen pieces of heaven, spread evenly about the ground. You deserve to catch each snowflake on your tongue and freeze your fucking hands off, frozen in ecstacy.

He spoke. And His words were heeded.

He gave me snow, and I cherished every moment.

The Brilliance of Emo

True Story

Slumber partay

Last night was awesome, and oh-so-inappropriate for the week of midterms. But whatever. It was essential for Sam's Reed experience, and we all needed to have a girl night. No boys allowed because they have cooties. (Although we made a couple exceptions, first for Mike who randomly stopped by and then for Josh who brought his ex-girlfriend). I saw "Saved" for the first time, watched embarrassing home videos, danced on the catwalk, and sang along to Cake. I won't deny that we had a pretty great time. One of the things that I love most about college is that all this is possible on a Monday night.

I've decided to dye my hair red again. It was dark red, I guess auburnish, for about three months sometime in middle school- and I've been looking for pictures, but I can't find ANY. That time is virtually erased from my life. My sister doesn't even believe that I ever dyed my hair red. Maybe it was just a dream. NO. I know it's real. And i'll prove it as soon as I dig through more photos. How could I not take any pictures of my dyed hair? It just seems so unlike me. Maybe I wasn't always this vain. Sad.

The bathroom smells like putrid anus

Not that I know of any sweet-smelling anuses, but something disgusting has rotted and died in the Griffin bathroom. Maybe it's a nutria.

It's Monday but it feels like Friday. I desperately want it to be Friday, so I'm convincing myself that it is. This time on Friday, I'll be out of all my classes and getting ready to go to lovely old Enumclaw for the weekend, my home over fall break '05. I'm expecting the greatest Spring break weekend EVER, with some of my bestest Reedie friends, followed by the best Spring break week ever, spent with Alejandro Meña who loves me sooo much that he's coming all the way to Portland to see me. I can barely contain my excitement, and if you ask me how excited I am, all I'll be able to say is "sooooo insanely excited". I can't even find the words to express my enthusiasm towards seeing Alex again. I can't wait I can't wait I can't wait!!!

So I made myself a little checklist to do before break starts. Here it is:

-finish ski class, turn in card for credit
-send dad b-day card (by March 16th)
-organize documents on computer
-clean out fridge
-pack for Enumclaw
-ask about bringing Chelsea Handler to Reed
-learn how to be a tour guide
-volunteer through SEEDS
-study ASS off
-laundry
-clean room, in general
-look HOT
-housing lottery

So far I've finished my last ski class but haven't gotten credit for it yet. I took my first test today (Spanish), but still need to study my ass off for the next two, psych on Thursday and Hum on Friday. Actually the Hum final should be easy. I'm just worried about psych, especially because I haven't done all the reading. Aaaah I wish I knew everything! I'm gonna go work on that now and NOT stress about it. I'll be fine, riiight?

A Beautiful Day for a Photo Booth

If you're happy and you know it

(clap your hands)

*clap clap*

YES! I can be happy! Alex FINALLY has his ticket to visit me March 13th-19th!!!

In other good news, my G-ma has her ticket to visit me March 29th-April 3rd and Ava is coming April 9th-16th. I am so fucking lucky. Now all I need is for Ulrika to buy her ticket. (hint hint)


*Addition: Alex is also coming for Renn Fayre, April 27th-29th! Yay!!!

Today

It's already turning out weird. And by weird, I mean I've already gone through just about every emotion out there. After a night of drunken crying, I woke up with my eyes swollen and baggy. It was hot, really. I woke up without having done ANY work whatsoever, completely unprepared for anything and feeling like shit. My last post, as you may know, is no longer confirmed. I spoke too soon. I hate how my happiness dangles in the air; I hate the feeling of not knowing whether or not I can be excited. It's hard for me having so much restless doubt- will he REALLY come visit me or will it not work out? I don't blame him- I just blame life's fucked up complications. Of course I blame myself for putting so much pressure on him and causing him to break down. So we had a lovely shared breakdown last night. This morning, a little under the weather, I drudged through the four feet of snow and mud to commons and swam my way through bricks to get to hum lecture. OK, maybe I'm exaggerating a bit with the bricks. No one saw, but I started crying in lecture. Not hysterical cries like last night, but tears running down cheeks. I got over it and tried to pay attention to the lecture on gossip. Seriously, it was on GOSSIP. I love Reed. So my mood swings continued throughout the day, which I should add is not even over yet. I wonder what there is to come. Let me elaborate on the day's events.

Eddie Cushman is awesome. It worked out perfectly that I didn't do any hum reading because he decided to let us hold conference out in the sun. Yes, the SUN. In rainy-ass Portland. Amazing, I know. Today is surprisingly warm and sunny. It feels like California, minus the smog and gorgeous boys. Alex, don't take that the wrong way- it's just a fact that boys are prettier in LA. The sun really brightens my mood. The rain has been bringing me down, I think. Not to mention my lack of Alex. I'm going through withdrawals. It's the only explanation. When you have the most wonderful boyfriend on the planet, it's only reasonable that being apart will fuck you up.

So anyway, Eddie buys us a pitcher of good coffee from the paradox (versus commons' shit coffee) and orders us to get whatever our little hearts desire, compliments of Reed. I got a croissant and my mood instantly lifted. I discovered a photo booth placed in the café for RAW (Reed Arts Week), which starts today. The booth wasn't completely set up yet but I'll be sure to get back to that very soon. I hear that people go crazy with the annual photo booth, taking naked pictures and having sex inside. Sounds like fun to me. As we're discussing Tacitus and his ballet dancers- remniscent of hardcore westside story gangs- and going on about how we wish our leaders were kinky transvestite sluts like the emperors from the Annals, I see my roomate eating with a drug dealer friend. We usually don't socialize out of our rooms, although we have a very friendly and understanding relationship, but today she looked up and smiled. I smiled back, gave a little nod, and felt like we had a really beautiful moment. I feel like there's something there that brings us closer even though we're really not. The only way to explain it is to say that we have an unspoken understanding. And that's exactly how I like it.

Eddie also revealed to us that we'd been challenged to a laser tag war by another conference- Alex Nice's conference. I've never played laser tag but always wanted to. And the best part is that they'll use Reed funds to pay for our laser tag. Can you even imagine? Private schools are awesome.

So hum was over, spanish passed by quickly and I went to commons only to find fresh squeezed lemonade. Of course it couldn't beat the lemonade from Molly's birthday, but it was still absolutely scrumptious. That brightened my day. The next thing to brighten my day was going to Paul's facebook wall, only to see a response from Sarah to my comment on her whorishness. I started talking to him a couple days ago, for whatever random reason. He asked how life is.

I responded:
it's been good, very good. i kind of miss your pale white ass. (literally) hey, good thing you never really got with sarah, i hear she's a superslut these days. i guess that's what happens when you stop being friends with aline.

Next, she wrote:
i am so sorry paul that you have to associate with people that starve for attention... we can't all be winners.

I let out a little chuckle. How cute. I talked to Ulrika a bit, filled her in on the dirt, and she decided to make an imprint of her own.

She wrote:
hi paul
guess what your girlfriend went to highschool with my roomate in sierra madre. What a small world. I also have a pic from senior breakfast of your ass so if you would like it ill mail it to you otherwise im just gonna burn it along with all the other pictures i have of your white ass (which is more then i ever wanted). and i am so sorry that you have to associate with people who think the only way for them to get attention is by throwing themselves on guys and screwing their friends over.
P.S. I miss you, im not sure why but i do.

Molly and I brainstorm on what we can do to teach her not to fuck with us. We are not two people easily forgotten. That was a biiiig mistake she made last summer and she'll fucking pay. Karma is my best friend. And this is kicking her in the ass in so many ways. I can't tell what came out of the brainstorm between Molly and I, but I promise it's delicious.

Just wait, it gets better.

We soon found out that today is Sarah's BIRTHDAY. I don't think it can get more perfect than that. I'm so happy inside with my middle school shenanigans. Oh, sweet sweet vengeance.


Don't tell me I'm a bitch- I already know. But right now I'm a very very happy bitch.

Here Comes Your Man

March 13-19th!!!

Mardi Gras!

Ray reminded me that today is Mardi Gras, so I whipped out my mardi gras beads to match my extremely colorful outfit and went to class a little more cheerful than usual. What is it about the inherent nature of holidays that just makes you happy? I love having a reason to get trashed on a Tuesday night. Who knows if that will actually happen...but it will definitely be a consideration.

On the other hand, I just realized that I have three midterms next week. Shiiiit.

Disaster Strikes

It's motherfucking 6:45 in the morning and I'm trying to get my paper done for psychology. I decided to use my Reisberg book as a reference, so I reach behind my bed where I left it. When pulling the book out, it knocks my phone off of the loft and onto my desk so that it's off the hook and the receiver falls down the crack behind my desk. As if that wasn't enough, my alarm clock falls down as well, ALSO behind my desk, and gets stuck there. The alarm clock turns on and starts blasting some radio station. Because it's so early, I frantically try to pull them back up. I'm successful with the phone, but the alarm clock is stuck. I grab for it, but it won't budge. Still frantic, I hurry to move my desk so that it will become loose. I push it out of the way as quickly as I can, almost knocking over my lava lamp (it's HOT) and just about everything else off my desk. The radio is mindnumbingly loud and I'm afraid someone will come yell at me. So I hurry to reach behind my desk, as the radio has now fallen to the floor, pick up the screaming motherfucker and turn it off.

Then I breathe. My heart slows from pounding a million beats per second and I tell myself, Aline, you can NOT get back to work until you blog about this frightful experience. Well, here you go.

I love Jan

Pronounced like Yawn. Yes, he's German. German with beautiful, silky, flowing shoulder-length blonde hair that he absolutely loves playing with.

More on that later. I have to write this damn psych paper. FUUUCKKK!!!

Wish I had a '64 Impala

Just kidding. I want a Vespa. Pleeeaaasse!!! The nice pretty burgundy one or one with a sidecar. Yummm.

Today was the first day I've had to check postsecret for my own postcard, not simply to see everyone else's. And for the first time looking at this website, I feel disappointment. It sucks, mang. Usually postsecrets are so exciting, and now my experience is ruined. I just feel contempt for the cards posted, knowing mine deserves to be there. Or at least telling myself that.

I can't wait to walk to the fruit stand with KC. If we don't have time for kickball, we'll find a way to break from studying!!!

A-mazing
a-MAZE-ing
ama-ZING

Right now I feel like singing. Weird. Usually that only happens driving fast in my car with the radio blasting and the windows down. I don't know why I enjoy that so much. I wish I had a car so I could quench this desire to fullfill my need to SING. If I weren't so reserved, I'd bump some music in my dorm room and scream to it. No, I will. But a quieter version.

I also want to take this time to admit that I've been secretly FURIOUS that Eminem got back together with Kim. I feel betrayed.

Doubley Stolen

I think mine beats KC's. It wasn't exactly the first book I tried but the first two were dumb. Guess what book it is. Hint: It may be strange to you, but I adore it.

1. Grab the nearest book.
2. Open the book to page 123.
3. Find the fifth sentence.
4. Post the text of the sentence along with these instructions.

"And so I learned that familiar paths traced in the dusk of summer evenings may lead as well to prisons as to innocent, untroubled sleep."

Saying Goodbye

Is getting harder and harder for me, especially when I'm talking to Alex on the phone. Why has the simple act of hanging up the phone become so hard? I don't want to let go. I know that hanging up will put me back into my loneliness, into a hole of Alex deprivation.

Saying goodbye on the phone isn't the only thing that's hard. It really sucks when you meet amazing people and become friends with them, only to have them suddenly disappear from your life. Natalie. She left before I fully understood that she was leaving. I don't know how long she knew, but I found out a couple days before she was gone. I haven't REALLY realized that she's gone. Leaving, left, coming back briefly, it's all the same. The fact is that I won't be seeing her aalll the time like I'm used to- but my truth is that it hasn't even begun to sink in. I feel like a bitch, not being depressed about her absence. But I still feel like I can run down the hall and bump into her. I expect to see her around any minute. It hasn't hit me that I won't see her bouncing around any minute. I don't understand how everyone else can take this in and accept it so easily. I guess denial is always easier than acceptance. But I DO feel sadness about it. I guess it's hard to explain. I miss her, but not with the full intensity that I "should". When I'm reminded that she's gone, the mood turns somber and for a few seconds a dead, contemplative silence fills the air. Eventually the gravity of the situation will sink in and I'll give Natalie a call or leave her a facebook message telling her how much I love her and miss her, because I do.

Thank the Lord

for cleaning off the toilet seat.



In other news, I feel like punching a wall. Don't ask.

Loves it

Recap

I hate eating lunch alone. I also hate waiting for everyone to get their slow asses to commons to eat with me. So I ordered a delicious burrito with extra guacamole and headed to my room at 1:00. It's been awhile since I've written. So here is my recap.

I've decided that I'm completely immune to shrooms. I've never had really big effects. I never trip as hard as anyone around me. I'm starting to think that all that I experienced before was entirely concocted in my mind, created on the basis of expectation. My mind thought I was tripping, and so my mind acted accordingly, tricking my body into experiencing the effects. Friday I took three disgusting grams of shrooms. If you know anything about shrooms, you know that's enough to get anyone solidly fucked up. Half the amount should have sent me into Wonderland. I don't know what's wrong with me. I guess I'm moving on to acid. The next time that everyone shrooms, I'll acidify myself. Or I'll wait for Alex to get here, who knows. So...since I wasn't tripping last Friday, I found a way to be happy. Marijuana at this school is like a whole different drug. I've never been even close to as high as I am here when I'm in LA. These people know their pot. So I got very nicely fucked up yesterday. The entire time I had the strongest urge to write about my amazing high, but I couldn't find descriptive enough words to depict my sensations and emotions. I couldn't stay concentrated, and never even found the motivation to get to my computer and type. It's not that I was lazy- just too distracted and overwhelmed by everything surrounding me. Everything was entertaining, everything was beautiful. Different of angles of different things produced different effects, and I had to try every angle. Highs like that make me want to smoke more.

"I'm a pretty good saxophone singer" said Alex. I never knew you could sing an instrument.



This is the mother fucker that chased KC and me through the canyon. I didn't get any shots this close shooting with my zoom-less 35 mm lens, and I probabaly wasted half a roll on the damn rat. Seeing a nutria was exciting at first. I'd only seen one at the beginning of the year and from far away. But this was up close and personal. I saw the bitch as KC and I were strolling through the canyon (which will become a weekly occurance from now on) and I screamed "NUUTRIAAAA!!!" I instantly started moving closer, testing it to see how close it would let me come. KC followed, and we both whipped out our cameras. It looked at us, and didn't seem startled. It watched as we inched closer and closer. At this point we were about fifteen feet away, close enough to make out its long, repulsive tail and old-man whiskers. Let's call him Ugly. Ugly started swimming away and we began to lose interest. We had plenty of pictures and the second half of the canyon to conquer, so we moved on. As soon as we are crossing some bridges to get back to the main trail, I hear ice cracking behind us. My interest spiked, I turn to see where the noise is coming from. I squint my eyes and see the nutria, closer than before, almost on land exactly where we were previously standing. I yell to KC to come and look as I start sprinting back to get a closer look at Ugly. It continues coming toward me, cracking its webbed feet through the thin ice of the canyon. I wonder what it could be thinking. Is this fat little rat challenging me? I refused to be intimidated by this creature that I could easily stuff into a lunchbox. So I get low, taking my National Geographic-esque shots of the ugly bugger. But this guy has no shame. He moves closer to me, testing me just as I tested me. When he came within four feet, with nothing between Ugly and me, I started to feel the fear inside me. I knew nothing about nutria, whether or not they were violent creatures. Did it even have teeth? Would it actually attack me? What would I do if he rushed at me? Run? or take a mean shot at him and kick his ugly ass back into the water? He wouldn't stop coming closer to me, and I started to back up. I didn't want a violent confrontation with Ugly. He then rushed towards me and I flew out of that area like a kid with red ants down his pants. I didn't even see it slither down into its hole. Okay, I saw that it disappeared but not exactly how it got there. I was too busy sprinting my ass as far from that beast as I possibly could. I was fucking scared out of my mind. I feared for my life as I ran screaming back to safety with KC close behind. She saw it all. She saw Ugly go straight for us, but then disappear down the hole beneath me. Apparently it slid down like a snake. ugh. I was quite happy to get out of there and finish our walk.

So we walked. And then swung on the swings on the front lawn. I can't even picture the last time I was on a swing. As KC and I fulfilled our childhood desires, we noticed a group of people playing kickball. We thought, wouldn't it be fun to play kickball?? So we asked to join, only to receive an enthusiastic YES! And so we did. This will be another weekly occurance. Join us; it's bundles of fun. Beer, cigarettes and twinkies are essential to any serious kickball game at Reed.

Last of all, I have a qualm with someone in Griffin. There's a spot of pee on the toilet seat. The toilet that I usually use. And the drip has been there for about a week. CLEAN OFF YOUR FUCKING PISS!!! Better yet, get it in the toilet in the first place. That's all I have to say for now.