Aline Factiods

Did you know...

266 Aline is a fairly large Main belt asteroid. It is a dark C-type asteroid and is probably composed of primitive carbonaceous chondrites.

Fluent in the Italian, Spanish, English, and the French languages, Aline Chrétien has been active in a number of charitable organizations over the years since her husband was first elected to the Canadian House of Commons in 1963.

Aline Kominsky-Crumb (1948- ) is an underground comix artist most famous for her autobiographical stories of growing up in Long Island, New York during the 1960s. In these stories she refers to herself as 'The Bunch', a nickname she was apparently given as a child. She was born Aline Goldsmith to a middle class Jewish family (Noomin, 1991). The superficial nouveau riche culture that she grew up in and the constant bickering of her parents led her to turn towards drugs, the counterculture and Greenwich Village as a teenager. Instead of going to therapy, she draws comic books about her life. She is married to the famous underground comic artist Robert Crumb. She wrote "Dirty Laundry," a comic about the Crumb family life, with her husband and later with their daughter Sophie Crumb. Each of them drew his or her own characters for the comic.

Aline Lahoud, born 2nd March 1981, is a Lebanese singer, and the daughter of well-known singer Salwa Katrib.

Aline is a town located in Alfalfa County, Oklahoma. As of the 2000 census, the town had a total population of 214.

Aline MacMahon (May 3, 1899-October 12, 1991) was an Oscar-nominated American actress. (nominated for her role in Dragon Seed)

Aline et Valcour; ou, Le Roman philosophique is an epistolary novel by the Marquis De Sade, first published in 1795. This was the first book published under his true name. In his novel, de Sade contrasts a brutal African kingdom with a utopian island paradise in the South Pacific.

(All of the above stolen from Wikipedia.)

AAAAAAAAAnnnnnnnddddddd, the best website of all, Aline on Wikipedia!

So basically, I'm an asteroid, the wife of some special Canadian guy, an underground comic artist, lebanese singer, tiny hick town, actress and novel.

G-ma, the ill shiznit

Tonight is the niiiiight

No, Alex isn't coming...my g-ma is!!! And this is going to be an awesomely splendiferous weekend having her live with me. I hear she made something for me, and it's not cloth or edible- so that rules out EVERYTHING I would expect from my grandma. Hmmm...it's a mystery...

Anyway, I can't wait to pick her up from the airport!

J.ust E.xpressing S.entiments S.incerely

As much as I want to move on to working on my hum paper and preparing for my grandma's arrival tomorrow, I have a little something that's been on my mind and won't leave me alone. I'll probably regret typing this publicly, but I've got to let it out. What is it about? The answer can be found in the title.

I feel like I was there for her a significant amount, talking to her and working through her thoughts on the breakup. I acted like the good friend should, always being available and always listening when she needed an ear. Even when I was hesitant and felt used, I did it anyway and told myself that she was going through a lot. I made so many excuses for her, and stood by her, trying to help. I felt like my efforts were futile, and that she kept going back to hurt herself. But STILL, I stayed with her.

And then she realized on her own what I'd been trying to tell her for months. Suddenly I wasn't important anymore; she didn't need me to get to him or to talk to when he wasn't available. And yes, I was happy that she was leaning in the right direction regarding that relationship, but JESUS, I felt more used than ever. Once again, the theme of disposability (word?) returns to my life. Aline is no longer needed. She couldn't even tell me that she was going to be seeing less of me- I heard the message through others. "No offense, but I'm not going to hang out with you anymore". Well O.K. I guess all that I helped you with really did mean nothing.

But then, stranded, at Safeway amidst pouring rain and a shopping cart full of groceries (for her dorm, no less), she wasn't there for me. We asked if it would be convenient, she got mad. So we called back and said nevermind; it's not worth it. Nothing is worth her wrath that she will use against you until the end of time. She "could have picked us up, and it would have been really easy, but she REALLY DIDN'T WANT TO". Thanks sweetheart. I understand being angry at Dave or feeling like he's using you or whatever. But when did this become a bitchy issue with me? Walking in the rain wasn't so bad. I wasn't even angry at the time. It was kinda fun.

We got back at around the same time. (She was already out, like 5 minutes from us when we called to ask for a ride) She made some comment about us getting there around the same time, I laughed about it and made a joke. I said, "Yeah, we're just a little wetter". She replies in her spiteful little tone, "Well, I'm NOT gonna apologize". As if I was asking for an apology. And then she disappears down the hall to her room.

And I said FUCK NO BITCH. I ain't gonna take that, oh no I won't. One thing about me that I hope everyone knows- I hold grudges. And that kind of comment didn't slide down easily.

Of course, she has no idea how I feel because our only interactions are her telling me about her sleeping around. Yes, I know you're fucking him. He's a slut; he's a kommie bike. Dirty and used, but everyone's had a turn. Nothing special. (Although some may argue vehemently in favor of kommie bikes) Go have fun but don't expect me to care until you show some interest in me. It's funny how I can sit at my computer staring at the screen the entire time you're in my room talking at me (not to me) while I say barely two words, and you think that everything's okay. That's just bullshit. What kind of friend is that oblivious?


Phew. Now that I've gotten all that out, I can ask WHHHYYYYYY DO I CAAAAARRRREEEEEEE?????????

For some crazy reason, I thought this would be worth posting. I'm pretty sure I was wrong.

I've eaten about 35 vitamin gummi bears in the last 5 minutes. Gummi Vites!!! You're supposed to eat like 2/3 per day. I think I'm going to OD on vitamins. What a sad death that will bring. And this is all because I'm too lazy to microwave some soup. What is this world coming to???

And the sickness starts creeping in...

I'm really afraid of getting sick at this point, knowing the insane amount of work that awaits me, or realistically the insane amount of work that I've procrastinated on for so long. Now would NOT be a good time to get sick. I haven't done any work all day, characteristic of every other Sunday except that today the pressure and workload are at their apex. I feel like popping a Nyquil and calling it a night but the guilt that would follow would be unsurmountable. I have too much reading, too much studying, too much homework and job applications, too much everything to do. The last thing that I should be doing is writing a blog. Stupid, stupid Aline. And it doesn't help matters that I volunteered myself for a 1,000-page humanities paper, due whenever but not really. You know what I mean by that. My g-ma is coming to visit for a week, which will be A-mazing but stressful until it actually happens. And I'll have to figure out how to balance the Reed party scene with her 65 (?) years of age. Uh oh. I hope everyone likes her. I mean, how could you not love this...

Dressed in Drag

What can I even say about last night? Reed is awesome. Reed is so heterosexually, homosexually, bisexually, transexually awesome. Drag Ball was awesome. Awesome, awesome, AWESOME. The only way to get some kind of idea is to look at my album of wonderfully gender-confused pictures...

Drag Ball Pics

For a peek,



This morning, I woke up and couldn't move. Literally, my neck would not allow me to move. I must have slept on it weirdly, because I definitely wasn't drunk enough last night to have forgotten a big fall. So it hurt like a bitch and I took about an hour to get up. I still can't quite look to the left or up. So...if you're talking to me, you should be on my right side. After breakfast, I came back and beautified myself. There's nothing like a night as a man to make you want to feel feminine. So I put some shit in my hair, put on lots of makeup, blow-dried my hair and put some more shit in it. I feel artificial and manufactured, almost like a meretricious laaady. Hah. Is it possible to feel beautiful and so plastic at the same time? I think the shower refreshed me, and then I plasticized myself, fucking up the overall effect. Whatever. I don't know what I'm talking about. Let's just say it's my poor attempt at compensation.

Now I'm just waiting for my camera to be done charging so I can take pictures of my beautiful self. Is that vain?

(don't answer)

Lady Sings the Blues

My girl Billie knows what it's all about...

Lady sings the blues
She's got them bad
She feels so sad
Wants the world to know
Just what the blues is all about

Lady sings the blues
She tells her side
nothing to hide
Now the world will now
Just what the blues is all about
The blues ain't nothing but a pain in your heart
when you get a bad start
When you and your man have to part
I ain't gonna just sit around and cry
And I know I won't die
Because I love him

Lady sings the blues
she's got 'em bad
She feels so sad
But now the world will know
She's never gonna sing 'em no more

Noooo mooooore

(yeah, I added some o's in the end there. I felt it necessary for the full effect.)

Back to chewing ice

Okay, it hasn't even been a week since I've been without Alex and I'm already dying. That can't be healthy. I'm kind of like the insecure child in Mary Ainsworth's Strange Situation (where children are left without their parents in a variety of situations and catalogued by their reactions). I need my mommy!

Sorry Alex, that wasn't demeaning, was it? Tú es mi papí, mi amor, mi cielo, mi corazón, mi vida!!! And I miss you like hell. Every day that goes by, I consider myself more and more of a martyr for dealing with the distance. Minus being dead and all. I never would have tagged myself as a long distance relationship person. I never thought I could make it work. And, yeah, it's fucking hard, but not impossible. I think we're pretty amazing.

Just like last week was amazing. I can't believe it passed by so quickly. I should have known. The best moments were lying in bed together, cuddling like an old married couple. My bed now feels so empty, so huge. There's too much room for me to sleep alone.

I also dyed my hair last week. Jess and KC helped me, thank god. I'm not sure I could have done it on my own. Here are the before/afters...

BEFORE

AFTER


I should have done one of those TV commercial mugshots where the before/afters are in the same clothes in the same position. But exact replications are a little harder when the first is taken in a restaurant on St. Patty's day...you know? Of course I had to put Alex in both of my shots, because what would last week have been without him?

Oh dear. One more month.

Oprah

So...

I meant to blog on my Oprah experience earlier, but I was otherwise engaged and had to take care of a small (Canadian) distraction first. Poor boy. He'll probably never recognize his own ignorance.

ANYWAY, I had a close encounter with the lovely Oprah Winfrey this morning. I actually met her. Well, not really. But I dreamt about meeting her. I can't describe the dream in full detail like I did this morning when Alex woke me from my tranquil slumber, but I can recall the most important parts. I was walking through a little street of Mexican tiendas, such as those seen on Olvera Street, with my friends Malka, KC, the boys (exactly which ones are just a blur), and Malka's parents. It might be a little weird that I dreamed of Malka's parents but I'm okay with that. We knew that they were taking us somewhere, so we followed. We somehow got to a humble little home (nothing like Oprah's real home) and she welcomed us inside. Oprah didn't really look like Oprah, but she WAS. She was too skinny and her hair was super short, like Halle Berry's hair when it's at its shortest. For some reason we had to pay for dinner, but I didn't have any money. So I couldn't eat. I sat and watched, only drinking water, as Oprah spilled her best recipes to the crowd and cooked a many-course meal. No one offered anything to me and I felt a little melancholy, alone and hungry as I watched everyone else enjoy their food and conversation. I wanted to join in on the fun! If only I could have stepped into my dream and given myself some money!!! At this point, Oprah still seemed like an out-of-reach celebrity and I sat farthest from her at the end of the tiny table in her tiny kitchen/living room. The entire room barely fit us all and it seemed like we were squeezed into a space meant for less people. When everyone finished eating, they all went down by the TV (on the floor) as I sat with my legs stretched out on the table. Oprah came and sat by me and we had some kind of enthralling conversation, most of which I can't remember. I do remember, however, that she was very sweet and understanding. She told me what a burden it is to be such a trendsetter; everyone will go out and get the new "Oprah" haircut. I sympathized with her superstar problems and she listened to my stories. I told her I saw a sexual abuse movie in 9th grade with her in it and respected all that she did for people in need. I love Oprah.


So, I went to her website and found some useful facts that no one should go without knowing. Here they are. Praise Oprah with me.

-The average man can keep an erection for around 40 minutes, even though he might not last that long. The average woman takes about 20 minutes to climax from oral sex.

-The average man gets around seven erections a day. Sadly, five of those are in his sleep.

-The average speed of ejaculation is 28 mph.

-Sex is healthy. There's more protein in the average ejaculation than there is in a medium-sized pork chop.

Canada, Oh Canada

A recent comment from a random but zealous stranger caused the ebullient Aline (the Aline that desperately waits for an attack that will provide amusement) to light up and prepare for an adequate rebuttal. I hope to do so presently. I chuckled a little reading the Canadian's pitifully cute response to my satirical post displaying the conversation between my sister and I regarding her late-night rendez-vous to the beach in the rain. I thought the best way to present a false worry of sisterly "drugdom" (yes I made it up, go with it) was to simply post some of our conversation. What most people don't know is the extent to which I've talked about drugs/alky/all that good shit with my sister previously. We get along relatively well and though I hesitate to tell her everything I've done, we can talk about these things openly with one another. She's a pretty good kid overall. In case there is STILL any confusion as to my worry about her being on drugs (although I'm pretty damn sure that anyone who actually knows me will find it obvious), I'm not worried the slightest bit. In all honesty, I LOVE my drugs. It amuses me greatly to find someone who takes me seriously, someone who needs to have my sarcasm explained. I only worry that our proud Canadian friend will never realize his misconception.

"Matthew" writes:
Druggie isnt that a little prejudice. Besides i bet you dont even know the first thing about drugs. Drugs are great here in canada were the deer roam free we smoke tons of pot and suplly your country with tos of pot and i would say on a per capitl basis we are better of then you americans. Get your head out of your ass american girl

And that was it. A slandering of my experience, my country, my drugs. God forbid a slandering of my drugs. I find it necessary to mention that Portland pot is some of the best there is- I know this from experience and have just about everyone I know to vouch for this. Yeah, some of my friends drive up to Canada every once in awhile, but not for the pot. Even so, it's a moot point whose marijuana is better. Thank you Canada, however, for the peyote and other hallucinogens. Greatly appreciated.

I found Matthew's attempt at condescension extremely cute, though his spelling quite appalling. Blogspot comes with Spellcheck- something he may want to take advantage of. But really, it is so hard to get words like "where", "off" or "supply" correct? Is that really too much to ask? It's not like he's editing a novel.

I feel like even addressing this unfounded comment is lowering my standards for debate, but I can't help myself. Oh dear. It can be shocking to be reminded of the lack of integrity and intelligence that exists in our world.

Quite the dumbass, eh?

Trainspotting

I forgot how great the soundtrack is. I looove it.



Man, what a good movie. I need to watch that again.

Her hair

It looked like wings. Not in a good way. I swear she could have taken flight right there in front of me. I'm not even trying to be mean, I kind of feel like it's my duty to say it. I should tell her. Nah. Maybe she'll realize on her own. I can only hope.

Oh, memories...

My mom likes to put together simple little webpages of our family from time to time to show our relatives and friends of the family. She sent me one today, and I went back and looked at a couple old ones. I was surprised at all the pictures and memories that I found. Check it out, especially the links at the top that lead to more pictures. Don't expect anything amazing, but it's definitely cute.

Winter 2004
Spring 2005
Spring 2006

Looking through the pictures, I got kind of depressed. I want to look like this again.

Is my leettle seester on druuuugs?

Ava: mom called the police
Ava: because i was on a walk
Aline: porque?
Ava: at dark/rain
Aline: oh god
Aline: why didnt you tell her
Ava: and she didnt know
Ava: well i had anticipated it to be a lot shorter
Ava: but my feet just took me to the beach
Aline: nuh uh
Ava: yesssssuh
Aline: whyyy
Ava: i dunno
Aline: were you mad at the padres when u did this
Ava: nope
Ava: which is weiiiiird
Aline: yeah how did that happen
Aline: did u have your phone
Ava: no
Aline: you should have told her what you were doing
Aline: is she angry?
Ava: she was at her stupid math class
Ava: and i am just stupid
Aline: you could have left a note
Ava: i dont know if shes angry
Ava: hope not
Ava: i am stupid
Ava: yep
Aline: so did the cops pick u up or what
Ava: no
Ava: i got home
Ava: and then
Ava: she called them back and was like "i have to cancel that"
Ava: pretty funny
Aline: you're not supposed to call unless your child has been missing for quite awhile
Ava: i know
Aline: and im sure she was terrified so it's NOT funny
Ava: i was gone for a total of like 4 hours
Ava: whatever
Ava: she needs to chill
Aline: no you need to not freak her out
Aline: you had to have known how she'd react
Ava: what is this poke thing with facebook
Aline: i know you're not stupid
Ava: i was far gone
Aline: far gone?
Ava: in thinking
Ava: i dont know
Ava: i still am
Aline: thinking about what
Ava: not
Ava: which is my point
Ava: ehhhhh
Aline: i don't get it
Ava: nvm
Aline: ava
Aline: are you a druggie
Ava: nooooo
Aline: alcoholic?
Ava: shutpu
Aline: does that mean yes?
Ava: no
Aline: do you smoke
Ava: no
Aline: this is some crazytalk comin outta you
Aline: i need an explanation
Ava: blahblahgoaway
Aline: nope

Aaahhh

I hate new starts. New semesters, new years, new mid-terms. Spring break was awesome and a much-needed relaxation, but it takes sooo much for me to get back on track once I've slacked for an entire week. I have an insane amount of Spanish that I'm behind on including an oral presentation (and lab manual that I REALLY need to turn in NOW), and a hum paper due Saturday that I haven't even thought about yet. And it is hot and sunny outside (I'm hot wearing a t-shirt) as I stress about all that I have to catch up on. I didn't even go to lecture this morning because I couldn't drag myself out of bed. I don't even have time to blog right now. I need to get my shit together and fucking work. I need some motherfucking motivation. AAAAHHHHH HELP ME!

As they say

All good things must come to an end. He came and left, and it seemed as though we only had an hour together even though it was almost a week. Spring break was so eventful, but it was over all too soon. I need another week, at least. I need him back, back in my arms, back in my bed.

I said goodbye and didn't even attempt the futile endeavor of holding back the tears. I had the most wonderful week of my life, and all I can think about is how much I'll miss him. He's already gone, and I feel like it's only been minutes since I was yelling at him to buy a plane ticket.

I walked back to my room, only to hear Elliott Smith still emanating from my computer. The tears haunted me again, bringing me nothing except loneliness. How can I write about my marvelous spring break when I'm so depressed about its demise? Maybe I'll be in a better writing mood later. I promise it was an A-MAZING week.

The Lovely Mr. Mena...

...is taking a shit right now. And that gives me time to blog. He better not check this because we promised not to look at each other's blogs until after he leaves Sunday. I'm wearing a really hot, green dress that he bought me for St. Paddy's Day and I love it. It's a little low-cut for my conservative wardrobe, but I guess I can make an exception for Alex. I think I hear him coming...I'll add more later...

Enumclaw, here we come

Bus: leaves from Reed at 4:54 this afternoon
Train: leaves from downtown Portland at 6:15

Then, a weekend of FUN FUN FUN with my absolute favorite Reedies and looking forward to Alex coming!!! Now I must pack and go!!!

Oh Jesus, it SNOWED.

I never thought it would happen here. But yes, it snowed and it was divine. GOD appeared from the heavens and spoke to me. He said, Aline, this is a gift that I present to you for your awesomeness. I give you this snow, these big fluffy fat snowflakes that mold into perfect snowballs; I give this all to you because you deserve it. You deserve to frolic in the newly fallen pieces of heaven, spread evenly about the ground. You deserve to catch each snowflake on your tongue and freeze your fucking hands off, frozen in ecstacy.

He spoke. And His words were heeded.

He gave me snow, and I cherished every moment.

The Brilliance of Emo